On your marks, GO!!!

Babies come when they are ready, period. There is no Get Set, there are no do-overs and no matter how much you prepare, you can never fully be "ready" for their arrival. In our case, that could not have been more true!

Earlier this week the wife began to experience stomach cramps. She did a few of her relaxation techniques (which pretty much means that I rubbed her back for a few hours) and eventually things calmed down and we both went to bed. The next morning the wife went through a few physiological changes and we thought it was best to contact the doctor. They scheduled an appointment for her later that morning. 

I sat at my desk thinking about how the appointment was going. Up to this point in my life, I have heard that this is a natural reaction for all first-time mothers. I had no reason to believe that we would be any different, especially since we weren't due for another 5 weeks! So I treated the situation as such. That was until I got the call from the wife later that afternoon....

Wife:  Babe, I am not sure we're ready

Husband: What???

W: I don't know if I am ready, I am 2cm dilated!

H: What??? What??? Dilated??? What???

W: I know I...

H: What??? Where are you, do I need to take you to the Hospital??

W: I am at the Hospital

H: That's right, ummm do I need to call someone???

W: No, I think I...

H: That's ok, I will come to you. Where are you???

(At this point it helps to point out the source of this mild panic attack)

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It helps me to put the pregnancy into perspective so that I can react appropriately. I see the whole process playing out like a ball game. There is:

• Dressing for the game
• Pre-game warm-ups
• Starting line-ups
• Kick-off
• 4 quarters
• Overtime (hopefully not)
• The Final

Up to this point, I was just about finish dressing for the game and on my way to the field to warm up. When the wife called, it felt like they were about to blow the whistle to kick-off! I just wasn't ready and neither was she. I didn't hear her say 2cm dilated, I just heard dilated (not that any clarity on the issue would have changed my reaction).

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Given everything we heard and read about labor & delivery, there was nothing that could have prepared us for that initial reaction when we thought we were about to go into labor. I pride myself on the ability to stay fairly cool under the pressure. On this day, there was nothing cool, calm, or collected about me. 

We ended up going to get lunch together and we talked about some of the essential items that we needed prior to Junior's arrival. I immediately went to pick up a car seat and the wife went home to put her clothes together to pack her bag. 

According to the doctors, the boy can come anytime between this weekend or three weeks from now. There are women who have been 2cm dilated for weeks with no change. Who knows how this will play out. Someone told me that this kid will march to the beat of his own drum and I tend to agree. Whether we are set or not, when it's game time we won't have a choice. Hopefully, I will finish the game with the wife and won't have to be carried off the field. 

Childbirth $101

This past Saturday we had our first of two sessions on "Childbirth". More accurately, "How not to get your ass kicked while your wife gives birth". The information resembles the Miracle of Life video (that most of us had to watch in Phys Ed when we were in high school) with slight modifications on how to behave.

The instructor, Joan (i think??), told us about herself. She has three children between the ages of 25 and 17 and has over 20 years of experience teaching this class. She was actually substituting for the regular instructor and, although she didn't say it, it appeared that it had been a while since she last taught the class.

In the beginning we awkwardly two-steped our way through introductions with the other couples in the class. It took the edge off knowing a little more than we first did about the company in the room. Our class had close to twelve couples (all seemingly married) who were all due within about three weeks of each other. After about 30 minutes everyone seemed to lighten up as the interactions became less and less awkward.

The class was scheduled from 8:30a - 1:00p and as it went on it got more and more boring. It was only 9:30a and I was already using strategery to figure out how to stay awake and look interested. By 10:00a my mind began to wonder (as it often does in times like this) and it occurred to me -- "we actually paid good money to listen to a lot of information that we already know and/or don't care about!!!".

Wow!

• I could have been about 1/5 closer to getting my PlayStation 3 off of layaway
• I could have restocked my depleted cognac reserves
• I could have taken the wife to a nice dinner
• I could have paid most of my fantasy football fees for the upcoming season
• I COULD STILL BE SLEEPING!!!

Needless to say, none of these thoughts helped to calm my nerves, especially not after I realized that I would be in this room for another 3 hours. It was a painful afternoon.

This coming Saturday, we'll be back in there for the final session. Only this time we are learning how to breathe. A better description would be how to keep your wife from fusing the bones in your hands while she delivers the baby. I am actually looking forward to this part of the class. I have always wondered how this lamaze thing really goes down. Guess we'll see...

So, it's not to say that the class is useless. I actually think it's quite useful. It introduces you to the idea of spending lots of money on things you aren't used to spending money on AND spending a lot more of your time doing things that pertain to the baby. Whether you like it or not seems irrelevant.

Name That Baby!!!

In six short weeks we will make a decision that will stick for the rest of our lives.

In the beginning we shared some of our ideas with friends and family. But after several weird faces and references to namesakes that we have never met, we agreed that it was best to keep the name tight-lipped until we see him. We would hate for someone to have to think of their ex-boyfriend's, roommate's, neighbor's, daughter's crazy school teacher (who is still serving time for credit card fraud and peeping) each time they heard junior's proposed name.

In an effort to avoid naming him under pressure, we decided to come up with several combinations to take with us to the hospital. While the doctor is showing us our good work, we will be looking through the menu to see what's on tap for the boy's future.

We have had a good deal of suggestions and they range from strong possibilities to flat out entertaining. It 's just about set in stone so show us what'cha got! Can you guess what his name will be???

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Doctor's Appointment

Today I went to see our OB/GYN. Things are going great! His head is most likely positioned downward and I am measuring 34 weeks, so it looks like our son will be arriving the last week of July.

Charlotte Shopping

Over the weekend I went shopping at the coolest children's clothing store, "Chocolate Soup." I bought our son pj's and a few little outfits. I can't wait to meet this fellow!

Monkey See...

We got this great idea (from some friends of ours) to start a blog!!! What better way to share information and pictures with loved ones and random strangers than to put 'er up on the web?

So in a leap of faith, we decided to do it. Hopefully, our families and loved ones will visit every once in a while and to the strangers.... just don't do anything too weird to scare us off of the web. With that said, here is a photo of the lovely couple posing with papa bear.