The Longest Day...

Where did the time go???

It's like a wedding. You know when it started, you know when it ended and you have a few flashes of what happened in between. Well, Miles happened to us. Here's a recap:

• It was an uneventful Labor & Delivery (as far as Dad is concerned anyway) then Miles is born.
• Mom is very happy and dad has never been more gay.
  
• He comes home, we change diapers.
  
• He pees and poops on us, we change diapers faster.

- We get no sleep.

• He starts to smile, Mom loves it.
• He starts sleeping and eating on a schedule.
  
• He gains a little weight and starts going through clothes.
  
• He stops eating and sleeping on a schedule

- We get no sleep.

• He starts eating and sleeping on a schedule
  
• He starts cooing (which means waaay more drooling)
  
• Mom goes back to work (sad times)
• He stops eating on a schedule
  
• We get peed on again (mental note, use the right size diapers)

- We finally get sleep!!! Just kidding, still no sleep.

• He finds his feet and loves eating his hands. (sometimes both at the same time)
• He learns to grab and play with his toys
  
• He mistakes hair for toys (ouch)
  
• He gets vaccine shots, he hates Mom and Dad.
  
• He get some of the sweet milk, he loves Mom and Dad again (it doesn't take that much).

(All together now...) We get no sleep.

Miles turned 5 months old on Thanksgiving day. Through the first 5 months of his life, he has given us his approval and suggests we keep up the good work.

Ok, most of those things are normal and they all kind of just happened. Not sure what happened first, but whatever -- I'm tired. We're now 20 weeks since our last post. Wow. Here he is today:

5 1/2 Weeks...

When everyone would tell us that our life was about to drastically change, we would do our same little routine. We smiled and agreed only later to laugh while thinking "Of Course." What we didn't anticipate is how much we would embrace and revel in our new roles as Miles' keepers.



In 33 days...

• We've celebrated every ounce of weight gain, from his smallest 5lbs 7.5oz to a now 8 lb 3.5 ounce vibrant baby boy.
• In 33 days we have been obsessed with his BMs. The daily quantity, the color, the consistency and now simply who's turn it is to make it disappear.
  
• We've learned that gas can cause an infant to groan like a grown man and that Mylicon truly is a new parent's best friend. STOCK TIP!!! -- Invest in Johnson & Johnson.
  
• We now know the true joy of owning a digital camera and we've pondered whether or not we should start a new support group, PA, Picture-takers anonymous for other obsessive compulsive parents who attempt to capture every smile, gesture and sleeping moment of baby's day.

Six days ago, Miles woke up from a nap while I was writing this blog entry. It is now 39 days, which brings up a very good next point:

• We've learned that no matter how much we think we are in control, our schedules are managed by a little man who hasn't the slightest idea how to even manage his own bowel movements (could be trouble).
• We've learned to count in minutes instead of hours. Especially with sleep. You see, it's like dog years. 30 minutes of sleep is really over 200 minutes. It's all relative.
• Contrary to conventional thought, there are only 240 minutes in a day, not 1,440. They begin with feeding and end in naps, with a little play time in-between (if you're lucky).
• No, an 80 pack of diapers will NOT last forever (a late apology to all of our friends and family for whom we thought we were doing favors dropping off the 40 pack).
• What??? He can't fit the previous size of diapers anymore? At almost $5/day for diapers we may have just invented the first infant bikini diapers. At least until he uses up the remaining ones in the smaller size.
  
• Did you know that Pee isn't the only projectile??? Yep, there actually IS a purpose for that sanitary setting on the washing machine.

Having been parents for almost six weeks now, we feel inclined to share these experiences as we have pretty much mastered this childrearing thing (not really). We're professionals (of nothing). We're like Veterans, if you will (for a war that has yet to occur). And the knowledge we now possess is worth more than a little bit.



So we hope you all have listened well because we have made the naysayers into believers. And we have proven why the market price for unsolicited advice will always be, well... free.

Gene Therapy

We all want to know and we are going to let you all decide! Tell us, who does Miles favor? You can select more than one answer, but try to limit it to no more than 2-3 choices.


A) Mom
















B) Dad


















C) Mom's Mom















D) Mom's Dad















E) Dad's Mom

F) Dad's Dad















(You can select more than one answer)

In the Beginning...

We left the hospital on Saturday and came home to a house full of loving grandparents, all very anxious to hold their new grandson -- carpe diem!!!

...

We woke up about 3 hours later refreshed and ready to begin this new adventure. So zealous. So optimistic. So determined. So... naive. We faced the first day with a level of determination that rivaled that of a new hire, fresh out of college and ready to solve all of the world's problems. It was our first day of school and Professor Miles was already establishing the rules of the classroom. No worries, we're ready. Aren't we???

We found out early that the professor has a lot of patience, but he is very clear on what he wants and how he wants it. You can spend a few moments interpreting what he is saying, but after a while you WILL get yelled at if you can't keep up.

We learned three new concepts; change me, feed me and entertain me (we think?). There is a distinct difference between change me & feed me. Earlier this week I got yelled at for misinterpreting feed me for entertain me. So, we are still working on the entertain me thing. It will come.

Relief is a three letter word - N.O.W. Grandma & I both found out that when Miles needs to go, he needs to go. Good thing we had a a fresh change of clothes.

Sleep is a four letter word -- H.A.H.A.

A 'full tank' and the 'chilliness' don't mix all that well. In the beginning it went a little something like this:

1. Carefully remove his clothes
2. Chat with him a little to keep his attention
3. Remove the straps from the diaper
4. Survey ground zero for #1 and/or #2
5. Remove diaper and set aside for disposal of the VERY cold baby wipe(s)
6. Wipe him with the VERY cold baby wipe(s) and discard it in the soiled diaper
   
7. Turn around to discuss our excitement for the wet diaper and/or BM
8. Grease up the front of the diaper with Vaseline
   
9. Carefully place the diaper underneath his butt
   
10. Carefully lift his butt and turn the diaper in the right direction
11. Neatly fold the the front of the diaper ensuring that the cute design still shows
12. Fasten the straps, taking great care not to cover the belly button
13. Repeat step #2
14. Change his clothes if they have a little pee on them and neatly swaddle him back into his blanket

The professor has tried yelling to let us know when he has gotten too chilly. However, since we had such a difficult time understanding, he schooled us on the art of the projectile stream. It caught us all off gaurd! As a result, we are much faster at changing his diapers, which now go a little something like this:

1. Pre-grease all diapers and prep any additional items prior to thinking about placing him on the changing pad
2. Peek through the side of the onesie and into diaper to verify a change is necessary
3. Unsnap onesie (be careful not to remove) and unfasten straps of the diaper wiping any residue with the clean part of the back of the diaper (all in one fluid motion)
   
4. IF additional cleanup is necessary, quickly wipe soiled area while placing new diaper beneath his butt and fasten straps over the cute design on the diaper (again, all in one fluid motion)
5. Ensure that belly button has not been mashed too bad
   
6. Fasten the onesie (whether it has pee on it or not) back and swaddle him into his blanket
   
7. Remove goggles

We are trying to get this down to a three step process. In the end, I am sure he will have us operating like a Nascar pit crew.

We have received some positive feedback. For instance:

• He enjoys talking so long as it doesn't interfere with either change me or feed me time
• He likes that we leave his hands free when we swaddle him
• He likes to walk around the house -- it helps him relieve a little frustration while trying to teach us new concepts

So far we seem to be doing ok. Mom has scored many brownie points on the subject of feed me and dad has made some headway with the change me concept. We still have some work to do on entertain me. It may be too early to tell, but we would say that we are right around the C+/B- range. It appears that we are getting better at it each day. We will just have to wait and see what the professor has to say in a few weeks.

A "Thank You", from Miles

Wow!

So much to learn in so little time. In only 24 hours I had so many nice people come to see me and there were a lot of well wishes for me, my mom and dad. THANK YOU to everyone for welcoming me!!!

Here is how the first 3 hours of life in my new world went:

I came out and I saw a weird man with glasses looking at me. He didn't say anything to me, so I didn't say anything to him. When he decided to speak to me, I yelled at him. There was no time for small talk, it was chilly and I wanted to see my mommy.

I saw daddy snapping LOTS of pictures of me (he is very camera happy). Then, all of these strange people started wiping me and poking me and making strange noises at me and touching me with very cold things. It was all very crazy, especially the cold stuff. When I get big like my dad I am going to track down all of the crazies that were touching me with the cold stuff.




Then I got the chance to finally see my mommy! I was very excited and I think she was too, but she must have been hungry or needed her diaper changed because she started to cry a little. It was okay with me, because I just wanted to hang out with her.



Just when I started to get comfy, some strange lady came and took me to another room with a bunch of screaming babies. At first, I didn't understand why they were all screaming. Then the crazy lady took off my blanket and all of my clothes. First I am taken away from my tropical Hawaiian getaway and brought to this unexplored Alaskan frontier AND I don't get to wear any clothes!?!? This is madness!! So I flexed my muscles and asked the lady what was going on. She ignorned me so I yelled at her, just like the other babies. She didn't seem to be intimidated by my toughness, but it was okay because my dad was there watching over things in case she decided to get too far out of control.


She actually turned out to be a very nice lady even though she didn't have very much respect for boundaries. She gave me my first bath and washed my hair. After my bath, she even brushed my hair so that I could show off my cool hairline. She gave me back my blanket and all of my clothes then took me back to see my mommy!


When I got back there were two women that looked just like my mom waiting to see me. They both seemed to love me very much and I think I love them too!

We went to another room where I got to meet a lot of my new family and friends, and learn a lot about the 'goings on' around this strange new place.

Whew... only 3 hours and there had already been so much excitement and I still had another 21 hours to go. I sure am glad to have so many great people around me. There is so much to learn and I think I am going to need a lot of help figuring it out!

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to everyone that called to check on me, to everyone that emailed mommy and daddy to wish us well and to everyone that stopped by to see me!

Love, Miles Jamison Ware

A day to remember

Today was a busy day!!!

I woke up at 3:15am in a cold sweat, almost as if someone had tossed a pitcher of water across my head and chest. I wrote it off as a night terror, which I seldom (if ever) have. It took me a few moments to gather myself and realize what happened. Once I did, I got up and went to the closet for a towel.

In a twist of events, Michelle asked me if I was doing okay. You see, it's normally her midnight escapades to the kitchen for a refill or in the other direction to 'empty the tank' that cause my incoherent curiosity.

I told her that I was fine, but sweating like a chicken in Ahmed's kitchen. I managed to gather myself and get comfortable again before the window to recapture sleep had closed. And that was that.

"Water Broke!!!"

I jumped up thinking that this time I had somehow generated enough sweat to trick Michelle's body into thinking that it was game time. She repeated again, "yep, I think my water broke"

It didn't take long to realize that it was game time. After a brief moment in the huddle we figured out a game plan for the morning. Michelle hopped in the shower while I phoned the doctor and got all of our bags loaded into the truck. Once I had everything ready, I took the opportunity to wash the funk off from the sweat fest that occurred less than an hour earlier.

As you can see from the picture, Mom was pretty calm prior to our track to the hospital. If her water did not break, it would have been just like any other morning.



We got to the hospital shortly after 5am and Mom made a few friends early! Joan got us all set up prior to the end of her shift at 7am. We traded her for another wonderful nurse, Janette.

Janette coached Michelle from 8:30 until her delivery less than 3 hours later. And I am proud to say that she delivered Miles with 3 hard pushes and NO Epidural.


I SAID NO EPIDURAL!!!!!!!!!

I was very proud of her. She handled it like a woman and afterwards there was a beautiful little boy to show for all of her work. I don't think there will EVER be any pain of discomfort that I can complain about, at least not in front of her (or anyone that knows her for that matter).

Mom, Dad and Baby are doing VERY well and can't wait to introduce Miles to all of our family and friends. Here are a few pictures from some of our visitors today.

Miles Jamison

Miles Jamison Ware was born at 11:20am July 5th, 2007. He weighed in at 5lbs 15oz and a healthy 20 inches long. We didn't expect him for another month, but Miles was having none of that.

Scroll through the pictures below by either clicking on the image or placing your mouse over the image and using the navigation bar.


Happy Birthday, Miles!

On your marks, GO!!!

Babies come when they are ready, period. There is no Get Set, there are no do-overs and no matter how much you prepare, you can never fully be "ready" for their arrival. In our case, that could not have been more true!

Earlier this week the wife began to experience stomach cramps. She did a few of her relaxation techniques (which pretty much means that I rubbed her back for a few hours) and eventually things calmed down and we both went to bed. The next morning the wife went through a few physiological changes and we thought it was best to contact the doctor. They scheduled an appointment for her later that morning. 

I sat at my desk thinking about how the appointment was going. Up to this point in my life, I have heard that this is a natural reaction for all first-time mothers. I had no reason to believe that we would be any different, especially since we weren't due for another 5 weeks! So I treated the situation as such. That was until I got the call from the wife later that afternoon....

Wife:  Babe, I am not sure we're ready

Husband: What???

W: I don't know if I am ready, I am 2cm dilated!

H: What??? What??? Dilated??? What???

W: I know I...

H: What??? Where are you, do I need to take you to the Hospital??

W: I am at the Hospital

H: That's right, ummm do I need to call someone???

W: No, I think I...

H: That's ok, I will come to you. Where are you???

(At this point it helps to point out the source of this mild panic attack)

==========

It helps me to put the pregnancy into perspective so that I can react appropriately. I see the whole process playing out like a ball game. There is:

• Dressing for the game
• Pre-game warm-ups
• Starting line-ups
• Kick-off
• 4 quarters
• Overtime (hopefully not)
• The Final

Up to this point, I was just about finish dressing for the game and on my way to the field to warm up. When the wife called, it felt like they were about to blow the whistle to kick-off! I just wasn't ready and neither was she. I didn't hear her say 2cm dilated, I just heard dilated (not that any clarity on the issue would have changed my reaction).

==========

Given everything we heard and read about labor & delivery, there was nothing that could have prepared us for that initial reaction when we thought we were about to go into labor. I pride myself on the ability to stay fairly cool under the pressure. On this day, there was nothing cool, calm, or collected about me. 

We ended up going to get lunch together and we talked about some of the essential items that we needed prior to Junior's arrival. I immediately went to pick up a car seat and the wife went home to put her clothes together to pack her bag. 

According to the doctors, the boy can come anytime between this weekend or three weeks from now. There are women who have been 2cm dilated for weeks with no change. Who knows how this will play out. Someone told me that this kid will march to the beat of his own drum and I tend to agree. Whether we are set or not, when it's game time we won't have a choice. Hopefully, I will finish the game with the wife and won't have to be carried off the field. 

Childbirth $101

This past Saturday we had our first of two sessions on "Childbirth". More accurately, "How not to get your ass kicked while your wife gives birth". The information resembles the Miracle of Life video (that most of us had to watch in Phys Ed when we were in high school) with slight modifications on how to behave.

The instructor, Joan (i think??), told us about herself. She has three children between the ages of 25 and 17 and has over 20 years of experience teaching this class. She was actually substituting for the regular instructor and, although she didn't say it, it appeared that it had been a while since she last taught the class.

In the beginning we awkwardly two-steped our way through introductions with the other couples in the class. It took the edge off knowing a little more than we first did about the company in the room. Our class had close to twelve couples (all seemingly married) who were all due within about three weeks of each other. After about 30 minutes everyone seemed to lighten up as the interactions became less and less awkward.

The class was scheduled from 8:30a - 1:00p and as it went on it got more and more boring. It was only 9:30a and I was already using strategery to figure out how to stay awake and look interested. By 10:00a my mind began to wonder (as it often does in times like this) and it occurred to me -- "we actually paid good money to listen to a lot of information that we already know and/or don't care about!!!".

Wow!

• I could have been about 1/5 closer to getting my PlayStation 3 off of layaway
• I could have restocked my depleted cognac reserves
• I could have taken the wife to a nice dinner
• I could have paid most of my fantasy football fees for the upcoming season
• I COULD STILL BE SLEEPING!!!

Needless to say, none of these thoughts helped to calm my nerves, especially not after I realized that I would be in this room for another 3 hours. It was a painful afternoon.

This coming Saturday, we'll be back in there for the final session. Only this time we are learning how to breathe. A better description would be how to keep your wife from fusing the bones in your hands while she delivers the baby. I am actually looking forward to this part of the class. I have always wondered how this lamaze thing really goes down. Guess we'll see...

So, it's not to say that the class is useless. I actually think it's quite useful. It introduces you to the idea of spending lots of money on things you aren't used to spending money on AND spending a lot more of your time doing things that pertain to the baby. Whether you like it or not seems irrelevant.

Name That Baby!!!

In six short weeks we will make a decision that will stick for the rest of our lives.

In the beginning we shared some of our ideas with friends and family. But after several weird faces and references to namesakes that we have never met, we agreed that it was best to keep the name tight-lipped until we see him. We would hate for someone to have to think of their ex-boyfriend's, roommate's, neighbor's, daughter's crazy school teacher (who is still serving time for credit card fraud and peeping) each time they heard junior's proposed name.

In an effort to avoid naming him under pressure, we decided to come up with several combinations to take with us to the hospital. While the doctor is showing us our good work, we will be looking through the menu to see what's on tap for the boy's future.

We have had a good deal of suggestions and they range from strong possibilities to flat out entertaining. It 's just about set in stone so show us what'cha got! Can you guess what his name will be???

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Doctor's Appointment

Today I went to see our OB/GYN. Things are going great! His head is most likely positioned downward and I am measuring 34 weeks, so it looks like our son will be arriving the last week of July.

Charlotte Shopping

Over the weekend I went shopping at the coolest children's clothing store, "Chocolate Soup." I bought our son pj's and a few little outfits. I can't wait to meet this fellow!

Monkey See...

We got this great idea (from some friends of ours) to start a blog!!! What better way to share information and pictures with loved ones and random strangers than to put 'er up on the web?

So in a leap of faith, we decided to do it. Hopefully, our families and loved ones will visit every once in a while and to the strangers.... just don't do anything too weird to scare us off of the web. With that said, here is a photo of the lovely couple posing with papa bear.